The Barrio that Broke Me... And the God Who Gave Me Strength

 There was a murmur that this first "barrio" my unsure feet would walk was a bit unsafe.  I am not exactly what you would call brave, so fear began to creep in to those places I thought I had turned over to Him when I signed up for this adventure. Every reason I had argued with myself about coming here was playing out again in my head.

The van dropped us off at the plant church, we had a time of training as we met our "nationals" and waited on our police escorts (very nice to have these guys around) and then there we were walking up the street knocking on the first door.  I thought we would be with a veteran team for a bit in the morning to observe and get used to this process (you know "stay in the shadows") if you call being across the street knocking on a different door with us then yes, they were with us.

Here we (the national, my translator and me ) were knocking on the first door and there was no shadow to hide in anywhere!  A young girl answered with a girl who seemed to be a younger sister by her side.  As we spoke to this sweet girl we found out this younger girl was actually her daughter.  This young mom stood tight against the doorway, talking as if it was pleasant to speak with two nice people who were being kind to her, but she stayed pretty guarded pretty closed.  We began to share the gospel with her and tell her how much God loves her and sent Jesus to this earth and the cross for her.  She began to release from the frame of the door a bit.  We continued to speak of God's love for her. You could see this look in her eyes, a sparkle that perhaps life had put out a long time ago, start to flicker at the thought of being truly loved by God who created the universe.  She raised her arm so we could see the goosebumps that just spread up her arm, Nayib (my translator) and I showed her the goosebumps that raced up our arms.  She made a profession of faith right then, goosebumps and all!

That is when it all got exciting and real at the same time. God was opening my eyes to see life as I could not imagine it from my cozy life lived mostly in a bubble.  God was giving me a heart for very young moms and children who faced more struggles in a day than I will in a lifetime. Yet God was giving me courage to talk to people I would never just walk up and start chatting with.  Mostly God gave me Words that made each conversation so much more than a chat!

We spoke to so many that morning.  Many were young girls with little ones around or on the way, a few were older and hardened by this life, several were gang members who would let us know their buddy needed to "hear this" more than they did. No matter who it was my heart longed for them to really hear.  Hear that it is ONLY through the blood of Jesus on the cross that they can be saved.  Many of them "know" the story, but still think they must xyz or must not 123.  One obvious gang member told us he would go to Heaven when he died because all the good things and serving he had done. I think we walked through the full gospel three times with him!

After a few hours of seeing things I had never seen, being in total awe of God and His plan, and presenting the full gospel at least 20 times it was time to head back to the church for lunch.  While we were there there were a few kids at the church.  They were there simply because the door was open.  I pray to never to forget their faces and their eyes! They just wanted to be loved! This little one, she just stood beside where I was sitting. I just put my arm around her and smiled at her.  She stood there just to be held for quite a while. 

This little guy would smile and dart off just to return a few minutes later grinning from ear to ear.  Before he left I think he ran over and hugged me three times.  So sweet, so longing for love.

Loving the kids. that is where the guy below in yellow comes in.  His number of trips I believe is in the forties now.  His heart is far from counting the number of trips or even the number of kids.  This man has a balloon ministry.  He presents that gospel in ways that capture young and old alike with balloons, a giant kids evang-E-cube, stories, bracelets... This barrio was special in that kids were everywhere and roamed about pretty freely.  At one point we counted eighty faces focused on "Rich the Balloon Man" as he poured out his love, Jesus' love to these precious kids.  As we walked down the street at the end of the day to meet our van and head out of the barrio many of these children literally hung onto Rich, his backpack, any part of him they could touch, just to have the connection even for a minute. 

That afternoon we returned to knocking door to door to spread the gospel message to those God had already prepared to hear it.  There seemed to be a different feel in the afternoon.  Many more gang member type were opening their doors, perhaps waking a bit more as the hours multiplied.  We were able to have some really good conversations about how it is Jesus, only Jesus.  Many prayed, when we pointed them to the church and asked them to meet us at 5:00 there was a sudden let down.  Apparently the gang influence was pretty thick and there was an invisible line drawn that kept people on one side or the other.  If the church happened to be on the other side, too bad, there was no way they could risk it to go.  The heaviness of that was almost too much.  We kept going and though the invisible line thing was repeated and confirmed many times we know God already knew about that line.  God knows each of the precious kids, who are 80 to 100 strong at the church on a regular basis and that they can apparently cross that line.  We are praying for those kids, the younger generation to be raised up to know Jesus' blood covers that line.  

The heaviness as we wrapped up Monday evening was too much.  As we sat in the church a mob of kids looked in at us, the look in their eyes I don't believe was for the food the church had prepared for us out of appreciation. (Though they did also allow all the kids to come in for a snack!)   It was a look of wanting to connect with these people (mainly Rich the Balloon Man) that had spread a little hope, who had walked into places that don't see many visitors speaking of love for them.  I broke into a flat out ugly cry and to be honest it took most of the evening to run out of tears.  Mark asked me that night if knowing what I knew from the day, would I have come on the trip.  My honest response was, "Please don't ask  me now.  Ask me tomorrow."

Tuesday morning at 6:30  during our morning prayer time God showed me He had done a great work on my heart.  I was not afraid to go back.  He reminded me that He had gone before us and prepared this work ahead of us.  He did not ask me to travel to a different continent to be shut down after one day.  He had already given me strength, words, boldness, obvious signs that He was working.  It was as if He just said, "I am here, working with you, you get to be a part of this just hold on for the ride!"

Tuesday we were at the same barrio.  Just a few streets over the oppression seemed a bit less.  One home inparticular stood out to me.  What seemed to be the closest thing to a family structure we had seen yet opened the door.  A man in about his forties had a great conversation with us, he prayed to receive Jesus' gift as his young daughters looked on.  That was great hope to me.  I pray this man makes a difference in his barrio and that will spread street by street crossing the invisible lines.

In the afternoon Corey the chalk artist was assigned to our team.  We moved to a very busy intersection, he began to set up and draw, crowds began to gather. We shared the gospel.

We talked to so many people.  Many of their faces are vague memories at this point.  However there was one early twenty-something, it is not his face that is clear in my memory, it is the question he asked, "Why do I do this?" and the sight of his chest with fresh gashes.  For a minute I had no idea how to respond, earlier in my life I would have passed out right there.  But I heard one of our pastors speak about this once as a student asked him a similar question.  It flooded back, "You can feel the love of God so much deeper than you feel the pain when you do that to yourself."  Then we were able to speak with him for quite a while on that busy corner about the God who formed his body loving Him beyond the pain.  He did pray that day, I still pray for him today that even if he didn't get it all right then a seed may have been planted that will grow into a love for God and appreciation for Jesus and His sacrifice.

  

We headed back to the church and gathered the team to present all of the follow up information to the pastor of the mother church.  This is what makes e3partners so amazing.  Every team has a national that makes contact at each initial meeting, every door and every heart that is knocked on a national who is planting that church greets them.  Then the church that is doing the work to plant and grow right there in the barrio is given the follow up information and prayer requests so they can make contact and build relationships.  Without this step our going would be worthless.

We had about 154 follow up sheets to present to the pastor and her team.  To see the joy and responsibility received as they took the pile of papers was overwhelming.

They were so appreciative of each one who knocked on doors, prayed with folks, spilled out love in this barrio.

Only because of hope in God and the seeds He allowed us to plant, the nationals to water, we know and trust He will grow them up for Him and His kingdom.

Wednesday brings about a new barrio...

My domino was shaking... Sunday

The departure date for our trip arrived so quickly I almost didn't have time to be nervous.  The devil certainly whispered doubt and discouragement to me several times, "What do you have to tell these people? Do you really think they are going to listen to you? If you are going you better just kinda be there but stay in the shadows you really don't have a clue what you're doing." That is when God began the work of showing me His truth up close and personal,

  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 
Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)

As soon as I would allow any of the devil's tricks to repeat in my mind God would put someone in my path that would speak truth to me.  "You just have to obey Him and go, He'll prepare you." "God is really going to show you great things."  "I can't wait to see how God is going to use you there!" At one of our pre-trip team meetings one of our "dominoes" said, "Through these trips God has shown me that the more I trust Him, the more I am able to love Him and its a sweet thing."  As God handled the details of encouragement and peace as the pages of the calendar turned closer to our take off I became more and more excited.  The next thing I knew...

my fingers were racing to send off one more text to the part of our team supporting us from home.  (That was no small number of folks; our family, our small group, church, sweet friends spanning the miles, our coop...)
And so we were on our way.
Saturday we finally arrived at our hotel in time to settle in before we fell asleep exhausted from the day's travel.
Sunday morning we woke up to breakfast and a devotional to kick the trip off.  Then we divided into our teams and headed out to worship with the "mother churches" that we would partner with to plant "daughter churches." The worship was amazing.  I understood only a few words, but it was beautiful, such passion.  After lunch and a nap our training started.  I was ready to soak in every bit, every word, any hint of what I was supposed to say to these precious people when I knocked on their doors. (I had been told before, I knew something close to what I was supposed to convey but honestly I never thought I could just walk up to someone and actually put it all together in words.)  Still the whole time thinking I'll just follow Mark's lead and be fine.  I really don't have to say anything the first morning we go out, I'll just listen and learn (you know, in the shadows;)
 After our training we headed to meet our translators and the nationals we would work along side of.  The plan is usually a veteran N. American with a new translator and veteran translators with first time N. Americans. Well... that's where God had already orchestrated things a little differently.  As we were teaming up Edwin, the organizer of the translators, came up to Mark and told him one of the translators had asked if they could be teamed up with me.  She really felt God was leading her in my direction.  Guess what, she was new to this whole thing too.  
After discussing things and having a plan to make sure we always had a male national teamed up with us we decided to go with it.  Can I tell you what a blessing it is that we did!!! Nayib and her two amazing sons grabbed our hearts as we shared dinner and time getting to know each other. 

 Talk about a "domino,"  Nayib was the first in her family to believe in Jesus as the only way.  She shared her faith with her father, who became saved and a pastor of one of the churches E3 partnered with three years ago.  She and her two sons, her brother and a nephew were all translating with E3 for the week, and for most of them this wasn't their first time.  This sweet lady has had some real tragedy in her life, but she so simply said, "Each morning we get up and decide to trust God."  She was so passionate and rock solid in her faith... such an inspiration.
We now knew our translators, our nationals and our morning destination.  Meet you by the pool for prayer time at 6:15. Good night!

Dominoes

 Sunday morning, March 24, 2013, I was sitting in Cali, Columbia, South America eating breakfast as Sam Ingrassia began the morning devotions.  The reality of where I was and why I was there was beginning to sink in. 

Sam began speaking about sowing seeds and how many times we never see the effects that could be immediate or years down the road.  He was speaking of the dominoes that we may cause to "spill over" into others lives as we walked through the week ahead sharing the gospel of His great love. 

 I glanced around the tables lined with folks I would be on this journey with, many had been here before, a few others were as new to this as I was.  Three faces stood out to me.  I was hearing Sam speak about the week ahead, but all I could think of were the dominoes that tipped into our lives several years ago. 

 These three gentlemen in particular were the "dominoes" who directly brought me to this point and place, this opportunity to step fully into God's story with both feet, all my heart and honestly a touch good bit of fear.

 Several years ago, around 2006 give or take a year, Mark attended "Refresh" (a time of praise and worship) at our church.  These men, who Mark had known from an early Thursday morning Bible study, spoke passionately about mission trips they had been on and the group they had partnered with (now e3 partners.) 

 When the meeting was over Mark spoke with them about joining them on a trip.  As is Mark's style, the very next day he was signed up for the next journey to Barranquilla, Columbia. When Mark came back from that trip there no denying he had changed somehow.   His passion for missions was clear now and to be honest that made me a little nervous.  When he got home there was much I didn't understand about his week.  He told me story after story about the people on the team from all over the US, the translators and the Columbians.  I really couldn't understand how you could bond with people so quickly and why you would want to go back when you come home so sick.  Not only did he want to go back, he wanted me to go with him.  That was just silly to me, I had two very young girls at home to think about I just could not go or even entertain the thought.
Well each year since then Mark has gone to Barranquilla.  Some years it has been harder to be completely ok with him going.  But every year when he returned home I would be so glad he went.  He continued to return changed a little more each time.  He loved God more, he saw folks differently, and his desire for me to go with him grew more each year.
To be honest, when I found out I was expecting our third baby in 2007 one of my first thoughts was, "Well that just bought me a few more years before I have to go on a mission trip with him."  Little did we know that sweet baby would make it years and years before we would have the opportunity to go together.
A few times we have planned it all out, even banked the money but God clearly changed our plans.  This past November Mark returned from his annual trip on November 3. November 4th on the way to church he looked at me and said,  "OK, pick a trip.  In 2013 I want us to go on a mission trip together."  I can honestly say I was excited.  It had to be a God thing because a heart doesn't change on its own like that.
We picked a date, signed up, made the deposit and began to pray (and asked several others to join us in praying.) We knew there would be some struggles as the trip became a sealed deal.  Those struggles became real pretty quickly.
Within a few weeks of our final decision to go we were having a normal Friday around here.  Haleigh wasn't feeling great, but wanted to finish school before she took a nap to see if that would help her feel better.  As she sat beside me at the piano bench she went limp as a rag and then had a seizure.  Really?! Now?!
To say I was unraveled would be an understatement.  As I walked into church the following Sunday one of those "domino gentlemen" pictured above greeted me with a huge smile and asked if I was excited for our trip.  I immediately began to cry and told him what had happened.  This man is a grandpa, one of the most caring men you'll meet, he was supposed to say something like, "Oh, you clearly have to stay with her.  Don't worry about the trip."
Do you know what this man said?  "You know its God will for you to go, it has been for a while.  There's a good bit of time before we go, she'll be fine."
Are you kidding me!!
His words were echoed by many who walked this with us.  I am so thankful they did!  We knew all the bases were covered here with the girls.  Haleigh had some testing done and was given the all clear.  Mom switched plans and was coming here just in case something happened while we were gone.  Good friends were just a call away ready to step in and help at a moments notice.  The next thing I knew it was the week before the trip, time to pack.  Mark did most of the shopping and packing of all the supplies we needed.  I just added my clothes to the suitcase.  I met my dad to bring my mom here and gave her all the needed instructions, schedules, menus and routes to different lessons and stores.  Then we were off.
Those dominoes had tipped over into Mark's life several years ago and now my domino was going down too...

Sweet Sweet Easter!!

 Easter has always been my favorite holiday.  This year it was better than ever. 

Saturday evening Mark and I arrived home after spending a week in Cali, Columbia, South America with e3 Partners. One of my prayers leading up to the trip was to see God in a fresh new way.  Oh how sweetly He answered my prayer, over and over again. I could hardly wait to get to church and full out worship Him.

Mom had been down for the week to take care of our girls and Dad joined her Saturday.  Sunday morning when the alarm sounded we started to hustle to get hair braided and special dresses on.  A thought struck me.  This was the first time in ten years that I have been able to celebrate Easter with Mom and Dad. And celebrate we did! 

We got to church in time to hear the instruments and beautiful voices begin to sing praises to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the one who took my sins to the cross.  

After a great sermon on hope we headed to the Lazy Goat for a fabulous brunch!

After we stuffed our bellies we headed to the Children's Garden.

 

It was a sweet day!

A sweet sweet Easter Sunday!!

(I'm still processing and trying to find words to adequately describe our trip.  Hopefully in the next day or two I'll have a post together.)

Homeschool Convention Follow Up

Thursday evening I attended the greatly anticipated Homeschool Convention solo.   The scheduling of this day didn't work out exactly as I had planned, but I did hear a lot I needed to hear.  My first session pick was entitled "Overcoming Being Overwhelmed" not the meat and potatoes I was looking for.  I think the reality is no one can give you this plan except the Holy Spirit once you slow enough to hear Him and trust enough to believe Him. Believe that He is in control and you really don't have to (and certainly can't) do it all.  Then the "refresher coarse" from John Rosemond.  I heard John Rosemond speak two years ago and was blown away by the things he says about discipline.  What blew me away was not that what he said was new (honestly its pretty much my dad's handbook of tough parenting put into words) it was how far I tend to stray from the basics. 

Then came my favorite day of all...

 Hesitant of how the day would go, my crew and I headed into the convention center.  Our first session was by Linda Hobar, the lady that brings our history to life and allows us to see how the Bible timeline and our "history" timeline are actually one beautiful timeline intermingled.  Even though we had talked about who was leading the session Mackenzie looked up from coloring about ten minutes into the great history lesson and said, "Mom! That sounds just like our history lady!"  

Then the favorite moment of the day for my girls.  This man that enters our home up to three times on any given day came walking around the corner.  "Mr. Math!"  My girls were giddy as they waited for him to finish speaking with someone so they could say hi.  Steve Demme spoke with them for a bit before he moved onto his next speaking session.  He asked us to come by his booth so they could visit some more and he could give them a book or CD.  I am convinced they will never watch their math lessons the same again.

This next man is more of a behind the scenes guy to my girls.  We use a lot of his curriculum but they really haven't seen him much in action.  However, we often listen to his voice on CD as he recites a collection of poems that we are working to memorize.  He also has "bonus status" because he trained directly under Dr. Suzuki to learn to play the violin.  (The same program Sophie has been following for six years on violin, and recently, Haleigh and Mackenzie on piano.)

 

 So with all that "star status" you may think, he has a bit of an odd expression on his face.  Yes, that would be because my precious middle child, honest as the day is long, middle as middle can be asks this oh so knowledgeable man, "Can I tell you something?"

"Yes," as he leans in closer to hear what this precious student has to say.

"We listen to this disk of poems, and at first I thought you were a girl!"

He graciously explained he gets that a lot when he answers the phone too.  I muttered that we really appreciate all he has done to pave this learning road we are on as I mentally prepare my speach of what is appropriate to say and not to say.

It was a precious meeting none the less.

Finally we soaked in a session by Jim Weiss.  He is an amazing story teller who presents history in a way that keeps you on the edge of your seat.  This particular session was not a story however, but discussed "Throwing Light on the Dark Side: Good vs. Evil in Contemporary Youth Literature."

It was not exactly the one I would pick for the girls to hear but it was their only opportunity to hear him speak before they wrapped up their time at the conference.  As I scribbled notes and passed out the roasted garbanzo beans I was struck by how neat it was that Sophie was so enthralled by all this.  She couldn't soak in enough.  

After a lap around the exhibit hall and not nearly enough time to see all they wanted to see I made run to get our sweet sitter and drop the girls at home for the rest of the conference.  I was surprised by how much I enjoyed having them with me at this event.  It was so fun to see that sparkle in their eyes about the people they met, the books about the ancients as they couldn't decide which would be better Egypt or Rome.  It all went by so quickly.  

The rest of Friday and Saturday I was solo.  I found myself focusing more on the parenting sessions and heart issue sessions over the academics.  It was a sweet time.  Although I attended several of the sessions for cues on raising my girls with a heart focus, the Holy Spirit spoke to me a lot about my own heart as I live out this homeschooling track that God has called us to.  

So thankful for such encouragement!

Homeschool Convention

It seems I just found shelf space for the great finds of last year's homeschool convention, yet it's already time to enter the great convention hall again.  

This year will be a bit different...

The first year the convention was held in Greenville my oldest sister joined me for a weekend that was unbeatable.  (I just read the wrap up post after that great weekend and I may be a bit teary.) A flood of great information, eye opening inspiration, an overwhelming display of homeschooling materials that all seem like a must have.... above all it was a sweet time together learning, being refreshed and laughing a lot!

The second year was fantastic also.  The number of attendees in our "shuttle" to the convention grew a bit.  My middle sister, having one year of homeschooling under her belt, joined us to complete our "sister act,"  we also had my precious niece and nephew along to soak it all in.  It was a blast watching these young minds excited about different sessions available to them, seeing them genuinely excited to meet certain speakers who have impacted their learning over the years.  The laughs and fun increased just as our numbers had.

This year, I'm just not sure what will happen as this grew are the ones in the "shuttle" with me as I embark on the great hall.  I am positive there will be a huge void of tender sister moments (of my generation at least) and oh will I miss my nephew and niece (did I mention they are super special and the fun they added was over the top?)  Both of my sisters have calendars too full this month to make the trip.  Our calendar is pushing the limits also so Mark is unable to take time off to have special fun with the girls and allow my hands and brain to be completely kids free.  However, I am still excited for what will be.  My girls have heard me talk about all the fascinating folks I have had the pleasure of meeting at the conventions.  Many of these folks  are "in our home" almost daily via DVD, audio books or downloaded to bring us solid curriculum at the push of a button.  It is funny how you feel as if you know these people personally.  

Take this man for example, before last year's convention he was nicknamed "Mr. Math" in our home.  He is the Math U See instructor who has entered our home for the past six years, now he visits up to three times in any given day.  After speaking with him at the convention and attending a few of his speaking session it is hard for me to refer to him as "Mr. Math" anymore because I have found he is so much more than just math.  His speaking sessions were not even on the subject of math, come to think of it I'm pretty sure he didn't even mention his curriculum in his sessions at all.  His heart and much greater ministry is geared toward building up the family.  Such encouragement of the importance of family and focusing on God while not getting lost in all the "stuff."  OK, I could go on and on but to wrap it up, the chance to see the hearts of these folks makes this journey even more of a thrill.  

This year my girls get to experience that.  They are looking forward to meeting Mr. Demme (Math U See,) Linda Hobar (Mystery of History,) Andrew Pudewa (IEW and much more,) Monica Irvine (The Etiquette Factory).... oh the list goes on and on.  

So the shuffle between babysitters, juggling my girls during the speaking sessions, watching them meet many folks they feel like they already know, asking their opinion of books and activities for next year's learning adventure... it will look  much different then the past two years but it will be exciting.  So here we go...

Gretchen, Becky, Cole and Meg,

I am already missing you greatly and this convention hasn't even started yet.  Pencil us in for next year, please!!  Love you all and I'll be messaging you a lot!

She is settling into 11!

Her big day quickly followed our return from our big vacation.  I had not done a great job preparing since my focus had been on our trip.  I was shocked by the absolute "vacation lag" that grabbed us for at least a week once we returned to the real world.  BUT she gracefully accepted a very low key celebration on her actual birthday.  A touch of school needed to be accomplished (we usually take any birthday and make it school free- not this one, we just had a week off, what could I do?!) After some school was completed we pulled out the mixer and Sophie set to work on her cake.  She really wanted to make this cake by herself.  I only helped out a bit and for her birthday she got a huge dose of that good old  feeling of accomplishment and joy from a job well done!

She narrowed her choices after much self-debating, to Asylan, the lion from Narnia, and went to town. 

 I'm pretty sure  she saw it all in her mind before we had the icing just the right color.

 She worked diligently until she had completed her first self decorated birthday cake.

Welcome to 11 (and the striving for a little more independence:)

Happy Birthday Sophie!  I can't believe you are well into year 11.  I am loving watching God build your character to make you the beautiful young woman He is calling you to be.  I know you will do great things for His kingdom.  Never be afraid to step fully into His story.  He has given you so much to share.  Your heart is tender, sweet, giving and so loving.  Your talents blow my mind. I love you Sophie!!  Happy 11th!!